Close Encounter of the Rodential Kind

Woke up recently around 2:30 AM to see the shadow of vegetation idly waving behind my bedroom curtain. My cat, Mr. Rod, was pacing up and down the window sill. Suddenly, I thought, "There shouldn't be any shadows of vegetation idly waving around here, and What the Fuck!" I whipped the curtains aside and observed that a damn squirrel had built a nest inside my window sill, only segregated from yours truly by the inner pane of my window!

I leaped from my bed, and pounded on the window. The squirrel thrashed about in its nest, but made no movement to leave the premises. After another pounding, the squirrel poked its wee nose (this might have been cute under other circumstances) out from the foliage of the nest. Later the animal settled and glared balefully out of its left eye at me as I continued to monitor its behavior and now and then pound on the window.

We were both up half the night. The cat nodded off. I spent my time reading Sally Bedell Smith's excellent new biography, Elizabeth the Queen: The Life of a Modern Monarch between staring and pounding sessions with the squirrel. Around daybreak, the squirrel hopped out of the windowsill. PDQ I went to work lowering storm windows and using other methods to keep the damn squirrels from messing with my private life. Industriously I cleaned out the nest from the windowsill. Why? Why me? What did I do to deserve this torment? Why aren't the squirrels scared of the cat? Why