Vituperativity

A while back, my friend Gordon remarked that I seem to have "mellowed" in the last few years. Since then I have felt some impetus to restrain my natural negative, nasty, misanthropic, grouchy, and belligerent tendencies, and try to be more pleasant.

A couple weeks ago, Gordon and I went to see the new Roman Polanski movie, The Ghost Writer (starring the adorable Ewan McGregor). Before the movie started, I was practically driven to run screaming from the theater. First we were subjected to one of those compilations of beloved images and scenes from movies. You see Jackie Chan saying, "My name is John Wayne," to Owen Wilson, and then you see John Wayne saying, "That's a crock of shit." (Maybe that's not exactly what he says, but anyway). Then you see Audrey Hepburn looking lovely, and then Jack Nicholson barking, "You can't handle the truth." I've never understood the point of these little pieces. Are they trying to sell movies to us? We're already at the movies! I don't want beloved shit shoved in my face.

After this, an ad came on for some Discovery Channel series, I think called "Life." A couple of unattractive British people were holding forth about the miracles of nature, interspersed with footage of animals doing things that animals do, like eating one another or looking pretty. At one point one of the British people said, "The animals have taken it to a whole new level." Oh yeah, right, I'm sure the animals are really pulling out the stops for the Discovery Channel. I had to sheath my fangs and pull in my claws to maintain a pleasant and cheerful demeanor.

Fortunately, a couple hours of Ewan McGregor sweetened my temper. We even had the unexpected treat of a quick look at his butt about half way through the movie.